These Golden Years
This morning I woke up with my wedding ring set turned sideways. Most married ladies are familiar with that feeling you experience when the set grinds into the adjacent finger. (If you are in the middle of a firm handshake, it can be excruciating.) I centered it on my finger again, recalling the day my future husband and I went ring shopping. Mindful of our budget, we looked at a number of glowing golden rings that seemed to reflect in miniature the young, idealistic love we felt. We chose a simple gold band set with one small diamond for my engagement ring, and gold wedding bands for each of us.
Twenty-four plus years later, I absentmindedly checked the prongs that secured the diamond in place. One was a little worn, and that prompted me to look closer. I could see that in places, the band is thinner now, a little worn after these years together. Those areas, though slightly flattened, are also the shiniest, as if the frictions of life had polished it to a greater beauty.
I thought about that. Twenty-four years of dishes, changing diapers, pushing a grocery cart as I shopped for my family, and countless other chores probably wore a little gold off. There are likely a few atoms on the handle of the spade I use to turn the garden soil, and on the long-unused baby stroller. Perhaps the bread dough I've kneaded contained a microscopic amount. An interesting idea - does that mean when I ate the bread I became more valuable?
The ring has remained on my finger all these years, through thick and thin... at times my finger size varied. During one pregnancy I had to have it resized, and even stop wearing it during the last several months. It felt a little strange arriving at the hospital to have a baby without my wedding ring on.
I also had it repaired once when the prongs holding the diamond wore down, to minimize the risk of losing the stone. My finger felt so bare that I got out a gold costume jewelry ring to wear till the proper one was back in place.
Perhaps another activity that has affected it is the hand-holding my spouse and I have done through the years. The neighborhood walks, watching movies on TV, a quick hand clasp in church when the homily seems to be aimed especially at us - but also the hours of labor pain before each of our children were born, sitting at my ailing husband's hospital bedside, reaching out during the grief of my mother's funeral, a soggy Kleenex clenched in my other hand, or just sitting together on our couch - all those moments may have taken off a few molecules at a time, but they were certainly worth it.
The ring has increased somewhat in value due to economic inflation, even though it has lost its brand-new shine. So also has my marriage grown and become more precious, though my glasses have lost that rose-colored tint. We now look at each other with eyes that see the imperfections, but choose to love beyond them, just as I notice tiny scratches on my ring if I look closely. But I wouldn't trade spouse or ting, remembering all we've been through together. Both ring and marriage have stood the test of time, and God willing, I hope to be able to wear my ring at my fiftieth anniversary party.
- Kay
10/4/2011
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